If I missed an emergency call from a family member, I’d certainly be concerned about the nature of the call. However, I’m not ready to always be available as a way to feel more responsible. I know family is important and my family knows I know family is important. They also know that sometimes I like to be left alone.

Frankly, I’m ready to feel a slight loss of identity if it will contribute to my sense of sanity.

But then, I’ve been known to sit beside a ringing phone and not answer it.

Whether replying to an email or answering a phone call - a response is a way to reinforce a social connection. But it’s what’s behind the social connection that drives that Pavlovian response to mobile phones. Sure people are social - but why? I think it’s because our perceptions of ourselves - our identity - is shaped by our social connections.

Waiting a couple hours or a day to respond to an email on my PC from a colleague might mean I am an irresponsible co-worker, or not as responsive as I should be.

Missing the emergency mobile call from a family member might mean I was a thoughtless child or that I was the type of person for whom family wasn’t important.

I wouldn’t like to think of myself or have others think of me as an irresponsible co-worker, but I could live with it.

Being thought of as a thoughtless family member - I’ll keep my phone on to prevent that.

I think, somehow, the Pavlovian response to phones and the compulsion to be “always available” is about identity management. We don’t turn off our phones for fear of how it would be perceived by others to not respond or miss an opportunity to reinforce our identity through those relationships.

What do you think?

Methinks that should be Twitter’s next feature: the ability to select how each friend can tweet you.

We all have the ability/control to turn off the PC, instant messaging, email and the mobile, but it seems there are different levels of expectation around each of these communication channels.

For example, some don’t see it as acceptable to turn off a mobile phone or even not have one at all. Expectations seem to be changing but are people adapting to that change well?